Jokes Collection - 7

Foreword Even the best stand-up comic cannot recall jokes. This joke book is necessary codigo or guide to recall jokes handily. Jokes are for all occasions and for all people in all walks of life. Jokes remove cares and concerns. They make you forget your problems. People who tell jokes become the life of the party. Anybody for that matter can become a comic by just reading from this book in front of an audience. Actually, these jokes are recycled or modified jokes retold many times in the past and openly distributed in the internet. Jokes are sometimes hard to recall. This is a tribute to all writers and composers of jokes to make the world a better place to live in. This book is free to read online. Just email your request. These jokes are recorded for posterity and nothing else. "Wear a Smile. It's neat and attracts attention! It increases your face-value." "You don't stop laughing because you grow old. "You grow old because you stop laughing." ooooo Contact; job_elizes@yahoo.com Websites: http: www.tinyurl.com/mj76ccq + www.jobelizes6.wix.com/mysite + + + + + SAMPLE JOKES: ABC's in life My wife asked me to describe her. I said: "You're A B C D E F G H I J K." She said: "What's that mean?" I said: "Adorable Beautiful Cute Delightful Elegant Foxy Gorgeous Hot." She said: "Ooohh that's so lovely - but what about I J K?" I said: "I'm. Just. Kidding." Ako Mismo Mga kababayan, ito ang reclamo ko: Alisin ang socialismo Alisin ang communismo Alisin ang despotismo Alisin ang consumerismo Alisin ang egotismo Alisin ang generalismo Ngayon, meron ng solucion, ako mismo. Almost Everytime A 70-year-old man has never been married. One day he meets a beautiful 17-year-old girl, and it is love at first sight. They get married and go to Florida for their honeymoon. When they get back, his friend says to him, "So, tell me, how was it?" "Oh, it was beautiful," says the man. "The sun, the surf, we made love almost every night, we. . ." His friend interrupts him. "A man your age! How did you make love almost every night?" "Oh," says the man, "we almost made love Monday, we almost made love Tuesday..." Anesthesia A husband was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, his wife was sitting at his bedside. His eyes fluttered open, and he murmured, "You're beautiful." Flattered, she continued her vigil while he drifted back to sleep. Later he woke up and said, "You're cute." "What happened to 'beautiful'?" she asked him. "The drugs are wearing off" he replied Anger Management * A man was telling his friends, "When my wife is infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares answer her." * One of his friends asked. "And when you are angry, what do you do?" * The man replied, "I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and none of them dares to answer back. Appendicitis (kunwari) Sexy GF: Honey, gusto mo bang makita kung saan ako inoperahan ng appendicitis (to excite the BF). Tangang BF: Ayoko, hindi ako mahilig mamasyal at pumunta sa mga hospital.